User Profile

I have a stupid first name and I think violence solves everything. I just came from Japan, an interesting little collection of islands where the people are generally much shorter than I am. They dress funny. They also eat fish that hasn't been cooked, which I found intially insulting considering that I'm black and that means I'm automatically partial to having mine fried, along with chicken. Right?

I joined the military. I was told that I was everything wrong with it. To rebell I grew an "elaborate" afro; proved the average U.S. Marine was a pussy and a chump by beating two dozen of them in personal combat, often in gauntlet fashion; became a Buddhist; became a Muslim; became a Buddhist Muslim (scientist) with Christian existential leanings and started writing a revolutionary, award-winning book that has yet to be published (or, for that matter, finished).

Now I am thrust back into the cesspool of intellectual sloth, of heathen infidel nonbelievers as a civilian. With my newfound freedom, I began sharpening my skills.

I wrote. I THOUGHT. And when with a THOUGHT I could tear notebook paper, when with WORDS I could shape events, I knew that the lessons of The Ghetto Ninja were true:

That with a big enough penis, anything is possible.

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